“ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: What do you remember about the “Wet Hot” audition?
ELIZABETH BANKS: I remember what I wore. I went out to a thrift store and bought one of those old school camp t-shirts that was really tight and I stuffed my bra. It was less bra-stuffing, it was more that I wore a very padded bra, like the early version of the Wonderbra. I auditioned for Marguerite Moreau’s role. And then, when they called me, David said, “I think you’re too hot for that character. So will you play the hot girl instead?””—
– AMC’s The Walking Dead. Remember? Took a B-movie topic and delivered a show that played like high art.
– Also: True Blood, again. We have to keep checking with HBO to make sure it’s eligible because we NEVER understand why this crowd pleaser — and superior actors like Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer — are ignored. It did get four nominations, for best craft services food or something (we’re kidding, but you get our resentment).
– Perhaps AMC’s The Killing should have been nominated for drama series. Better yet: How about we make the producers think they’re going to get nominated, then not reveal the list of nominations until next year?
– No Lea Michele? Hmm.
– Critics will get very upset about Treme not being nominated. We started to get upset, then were interrupted by a trumpet solo.
–Sons of Anarchy. Yesterday, Creator Kurt Sutter tweeted: “If we get any Emmy noms I’ll tattoo EMMYS RULE on my a**.” Sutter, can I be there when you get it??
– Kyra Sedgwick won the drama actress for TNT’s The Closer last year and was not nominated. But we’re not that broken up about it.
– It’s not exactly a timely snub, but the nomination for Walton Goggins for Justified feels about three years too late. For years, Goggins was egregiously overlooked for his work on FX’s woefully underrated drama The Shield. Better late than never, Emmy voters.
– Ray Romano. We love that Andre Braugher — a favorite with Emmy voters — earned his second nom for Men of a Certain Age, but isn’t it about time the golden girl notices Romano’s under-stated but disarmingly moving depiction of a middle-aged divorcée?
– Fringe. Emmy voters, not sure you know this, but three years ago J.J. Abrams rustled up a great bunch of writers and created one of the best sci-fi dramas since The X-Files. Can we encourage you to Netflix it sometime this decade?
– Desperate Housewives. My, how far those ladies have fallen. The show only earned one nomination — for outstanding voiceover. The only actor nominated is the one we don’t even see.
– Neil Patrick Harris. Keep on hosting those Tonys, dude, and getting lots of attention for it, because you’re more apt to get a golden statue for that gig than How I Met Your Mother.
–Chuck Lorre. His writing was good enough to earn nods for Jon Cryer and Melissa McCarthy, but not good enough to get a writing nomination?
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — Part 2 leaves us with the dawning, awesome recognition that the world is huge, fraught, enigmatic, magical, dangerous, delightful, and, ultimately, the responsibility of young people who must first find their own footing.”—Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2:EW Movie Review
“There are days I really enjoy writing and there are days I f–king hate it. I can see it in my head and the words won’t come. I try to put it on the page and it feels stiff and wooden and it’s stupid. Writing is hard work.”—EW Interview: George R.R. Martin talks ‘A Dance With Dragons’
Comic-Con posts Thursday schedule: 'Breaking Dawn' sneak peek, 'Game of Thrones' chat with George R.R. Martin
San Diego Comic-Con 2011 has published its schedule of events for Thursday, July 21. (Way to keep us hanging/build intrigue regarding the other dates, Comic-Con!) For a full list of projects (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn! Game of Thrones!) and persons (Sarah Michelle Gellar, for Ringer! Jon Favreau and Guillermo del Toro, for Entertainment Weekly‘s Visionaries panel!) attending the convention, click through!
Even by the surprisingly flimsy standards of ’80s action cartoons, Transformers was not a good show. The toys were fun — this was back in more innocent days, when talking cars didn’t have tongues — but the cartoon was a parade of random robots with colorful names and zero personality. The one exception — really, the only reason why Transformers has become so iconic — was Optimus Prime. Designed like a cross between a medieval knight and a robo-Captain America, Prime had a surprising amount of character depth, especially considering that he was a tall robot machine that transforms into a truck. For one thing, he seemed to be the only Transformer who actually cared that they were, you know, the last of their race. There was a weird streak of melancholy in Prime — imagine Jack on Lost, except without the ability to cry all the time. He had compassion. He was not, in short, a homicidal war junkie who seems to get a delicious thrill from forcefully tearing his enemies in half.
So of all the various offenses of Michael Bay’s Transformers trilogy, one in particular sticks out: The slow devolution of Optimus Prime from a caring leader to a homicidal ninja douche rocket. In Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Prime pays lip service to noble causes, saving humanity, etc., etc. But his actions don’t bear that out: If you read between the lines, Prime is actually something like the ultimate Michael Bay protagonist, a character who uses the cause of Goodness to justify every conceivable violent atrocity. Really, he’s a sociopath. He’s also a complete idiot.
Let me explain (Spoilers ahead, for anyone who still cares about plot, in which case you’re adorable): The final act of Transformers: Dark of the Moon begins when the Autobots are forced to leave Earth by the sniveling diplomats in the United Nations, who for some reason always think it makes sense to negotiate with gigantic evil robots who are called Decepticons, which would sort of be like negotiating with a terrorist group called “People Who Lie To the United Nations.” The Autobots’ rocket is then shot out of the sky by Patrick Dempsey, a sniveling corporate guy. And then the Great Chicago Massacre begins. We see buildings brought to the ground, Decepticons firing laser beams that explode civilians into ambient bloodfog, and because this is a PG-13 movie, we don’t see any grieving mothers or children with their faces burnt off, but predictably that is what would happen if giant evil robots purged a city of all living beings.
After 24 hours of this, the Autobots show up, and Prime reveals his brilliant stratagem: They faked their death to prove to those sniveling U.N. bureaucrats why they need the Autobots. Hold on this for a second. The Autobots have been on Earth this whole time, and they let Chicago burn to the ground… just to prove a point? Oh, thanks so much, Optimus Prime! My cousin in Chicago is dead because you had to be the biggest douche in the universe and wait for us humans to beg you for your help! What a hero!
Anyways, at this point, Prime kickstarts the last hour of the movie with a line that had everyone in my theater gasping: “We will kill them all.” That’s not an empty boast — the Autobots fight their way through Chicago killing every Decepticon in their way. I don’t want to sound like a wet blanket. A lot of this is pretty awesome. But the Prime that I remember was a real hero: He didn’t want to kill anyone. Compare that to Movie-Prime, who, in one eye-popping shot, flies down into the middle of a Decepticon squad and kills nine of them: He slices, he dices, he shoots, he punches through robo-hearts, and he grabs the last one by the throat and performs a fatal tracheotomy. All that’s missing is a scene where Prime bathes in the blood of the fallen Decepticons and screams, “I am become Death!”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love bloodthirsty action heroes, which is why Conan the Barbarian is basically my favorite action movie ever. But Conan has code of honor, and a grisly sense of humor. Prime is a just a self-righteous douchebag. The big twist of Dark of the Moon is that Prime’s mentor, Sentinel, is actually a bad guy — and, since Prime brought him back to life, he’s indirectly responsible for the complete destruction of Chicago, which you will remember he could have also stopped at any point, but he had to teach the U.N. a lesson. (At one point, Shia LaBeouf tells Prime, “It’s not your fault.” YES IT IS. TAKE SOME FREAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, YOU HIPPIE.)
At the end of the battle, Sentinel lies wounded, completely defeated. This is the point at which a real hero, say someone like Batman, would say something really clever and assert his moral superiority by taking Sentinel in custody.
Instead, Prime shoots him in the back of the head.
And when that doesn’t do the trick, he shoots him again.
So, in short, by the end of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Optimus Prime has become a bloodthirsty idiot douche rocket with no moral code, who gladly sacrifices millions of lives in order to prove that humans can’t last long without his awesomeness. Who’s ready for a fourquel?