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I’m 16, so I’m a little timid. I’m just worried about going to jail. So at the first bar, I was kind of scared. But then the girls were like, ‘Come over here!’ And we all started drinking off the tap. By the time [we got to] the second or the third bar, one of the bars had those cowboy doors. And by then I was f–king lit, and I was feeling it. So I kick those cowboy doors in and I go, ‘AAARRRGH!’ And the whole bar full of adults turns and goes, ‘AAARRRGH!’ And it was on. I’m leaning on the bar, squirting [the rum] in their mouths, squirting it in mine. I was singing Marilyn Manson covers with the band by the end.

Joe Manganiello — who turns 36 today — on playing Captain Morgan in Pittsburgh bars from the ages of 16 to 21.

Happy birthday, bro.

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