According to Work It
Compare prostate exams to “the pinball scene in The Accused.” (It’s funny, because it’s about rape.)
Complain the recession is actually a man-cession. (Clearly they’ve never been invited to one of Michael Scott’s famous men-only parties. Man meat for all!)
Worry that “When the women take over, they’ll make pride illegal and eating on the toilet.”
Are treated to beers during prostate exams.
Only invite their wives out to bars with their pigheaded friends, and when said wife declines, offer to “wake her up for sex later.”
Can fix cars, no questions asked.
When they don’t have their cell-phone bill footed by their father, joke they need to find an older man to take care of it for them.
“Are taking over the work force. Soon, they’ll start getting rid of men. They’ll just keep a few around as sex slaves.” (Not true, we’re only doing that so we can finally get to experience the forbidden taste of Dr. Pepper Ten!)
Only like sex that involves “kissing and cuddling and listening.”
Only buy themselves jewelry when men aren’t able to because of the recession. Sorry, man-cession.
Curtsy when they go into job interviews.
Say things like “sassing, patting my fanny, oggling my teets” to other women during said interviews.
Couldn’t conceivably play college football, unless, of course, it was lingerie football.
Think “clinical trials” are referring to what Lindsay Lohan has to go to.
Tell you they like your purse, but it really means they hate it and you.
Only eat salads for lunch. Assume that any woman who eats a hoagie for lunch is a man in disguise.
Can’t fix cars, and questions are asked when they can.
Never leave bars until they dance and/or get drunk and go home with a random guy.